Happy Easter!

Hi all. Quite a bit of time has passed since I have written... Tessa turned 4 on February 18th, I’ve traveled a little in the Gulf (Dubai & Oman) and I’m managing OK without Nebiat who decided she wanted to stay in the US of A on a permanent illegal basis. Having a live-in maid was great. The house was always presentable and I could dash off at a moments notice because I had a live-in babysitter. Nebiat was a great help with the kids and the house, but I am managing OK with a part-time babysitter and cleaning lady. I know I sound completely spoiled, but picture this – Eve and Eliza throw the leftovers of their highchairs onto the polished imitation marble floor. We’re talking 3 meals a day. If you don’t clean instantly, it hardens or is a grease-slick that someone will slip on. When I try to clean right away, my little angels make their way into the kitchen (which is very separated from the dining room) to open bags of lentils, pasta, and empty the “play cabinet” of Tupperware or dig the dirt out of the houseplants. Tessa is delighted by all of the mischief and proudly reports, “Eve and Eliza are up to monkey business.” Eliza can now open the fridge. When she does, she stands there, looks at the backlit bounty, and starts clapping. One day she opened the veggie bin and bit into a jalapeno. That was funny. Am I a mean mommy? Yes I am. So, I leave the hardened, slippery goo on the floor for a couple of days until the cleaning lady comes to remove the crud with a blow-torch. The baby-sitter comes on Sunday and Thursday mornings, so I can go to the grocery, exercise or whatever. Lately, it’s just been grocery and a shower. However, I did have a classic expat day a while back. A little background – many westerners here are members at the 5 star hotels, The Ritz, the 4 Seasons, the Inter-Continental. You can use the pools, beach, the exercise rooms, spas, etc. I think the reason expats hang out at the swanky hotels is that these places are oases in this funky developing country. It’s pretty decadent in a land where many laborers are being paid $6 a day. Anyway, I attended a birthday party at the 4 seasons spa that included a massage and a multi-course luncheon. It was lovely. Sushi, salads and chocolate. I was there all day. That night, I went to a Rob work-related dinner at the Ritz Carlton. I have been here nearly a year and this is the 1st time I’ve done this sort of thing. I enjoyed every moment, because in the morning it was back to “monkey business” and the greasy-hardened biology experiment on the dining room floor.

Other than day-dreaming about my spa day, I have spent a lot of time interviewing potential replacements for Nebiat. So many characters and stories. I think the word has gotten out that we are absolute, gullible schmucks. A lady, who attended the aforementioned spa b-day party, said she heard about the maid who ran away in the States. She lives in Dubai. Other people who I’ve met recently have said, “Oh that was your maid?” Anyway, Nebiat lied to me so much, that I am finding it difficult to believe anything these candidates tell me – esp. when it’s strange. There was the sweet faced Indian lady who came with her friend, who translated. She said she went to India over the Christmas holidays, had a baby, left the 3 week-old baby baby with her husband in India and when she returned to Doha, the American family for whom she was working had left. OK. Another lady showed up 2 hours late for the interview, complained non-stop about her current employers, a French couple with an older son, and begged me to hire her. She asked my nationality and she said desperately, “you’re American, you’ll help me.” A couple of ladies, who spoke no English at all, arrived with men who had driven them and would hardly look at me. They kept their eyes down and seemed so uncertain of themselves. They were currently working for Qataris. I went with a neighbor to a maid agency where they have piles of resumes with depressing photos attached. The neighbor asked the people in the office, “are their any girls upstairs?” I was told that there are maids who run away from their jobs and go back to the agency. They live upstairs for a couple of days until they find another job or are sent back home (typically the Philippines or Indonesia). They run away mostly because they are abused or mis-treated. There was one upstairs who was ready to go home, but she would come down to see me. A tall young Philippine came into the office. She had tears in her eyes and was trembling. She was frightened of me. I didn’t even need to speak with her; she was ready to get the hell out of Doha and away from whatever had happened to her. I could go on about how expats, not just the Qataris, are unkind to these poor women. Some never get a day off, have no privacy, and are treated like slaves. One expat lady I know was puzzling over the fact that her maid hit her kids, but never gave the maid a day off. Duh!

After all of this, I was wondering if it was more trouble than it was worth, but we have through one of Rob’s colleagues, found a young woman in the Philippines who wants to come to Doha to work. Her best friend, from childhood, is their maid/babysitter. Her name is Emyliza. I called her and spoke to her briefly, whenever she tried to speak, a rooster crowed into phone. (Thank you, Tom Waits). I looked at the unsmiling photo attached to her resume & references and don’t think she looks like an axe-murderer. Anyway, we’re bringing her here and we’ll see how it turns out. Sorry this is a somewhat depressing 1st blog entry, but I have more to write, esp. about Dubai & Oman. If I don’t send this now it will sit for another … who knows how long.